It was back in the early 1990’s when I was at LucasFilm Ltd., heading up several divisions… Skywalker Sound; LucasArts Attractions; Editdroid/Soundroid and Industrial Light and Magic. One day I was in LA on the Disney lot, visiting then Head of Production, Bruce Hendricks, to discuss our bid on the ROCKETEER (that story for yet another post). When I was leaving the lot I happened to notice that Disney was hosting, for its employees, various seminars given by great artists. I thought to myself…. “LucasFilm should invite some really cool people to lecture as well, after all, we’re cool”.

So, I returned to San Rafael and with the help of a few folks, started to brainstorm some ideas regarding who we would invite and how we could “pay” for this speakers series. At the time (and probably to this day), ILM did not have any discretionary budget to do these kinds of things. After all, ILM was barely in the black, and the rest of the LucasArts divisions were losing money. But, we did have that big beautiful ranch, with vineyards, acreage beyond imagination, beautifully landscaped grounds, our own fire department and the most luxurious of accommodations for guests.

Armed with the possibility of an overnight stay at Skywalker Ranch and hosting a dinner at the Main House, I began to troll for speakers.

My fishing expedition was short… I had a few bites immediately. I placed a call to Tim Leary and to Laurie Anderson (the performance artist), and interestingly enough both were excited about the possibility !

I had been at LucasFilm for several years at that point and was one of two Sr V.P’s, yet I had only met George Lucas once.  It seems GWL (as he was monikered), was rarely around anymore, and as I was number two in the corporate hierarchy, decided that I needn’t ask anyones approval to start this guest artist seminar.

The first speaker was to be Timothy Leary of  “turn on, tune in, drop out” fame.  Dr. Tim was about 70 years old at the time and seemingly interested in video games, new media and was of course quite a storyteller. Leary had started his career as a PhD at Harvard in the Psychology Department, was an icon of the 60’s, hung out with the likes of Allen Ginsberg and Marshall McLuhan and back in the day, was the high priest of psychedelia.

While having dinner with my family one evening, the phone rang and my then wife answered it.  She turned to me, phone in hand whilst I was swallowing a forkful of mashed potatoes and said “Scott, it’s for you, it’s Timothy Leary”. Tim and I spoke for about ten minutes and we had a deal. He could stay one evening at Skywalker Ranch, we would host a dinner for him and he would give a talk to Lucas employees.

The date was set. Tim filled the Sprockets Theater at C building at ILM, there was an SRO crowd. Tim took to the stage and started to talk about new media and games. It seemed he had recently developed this new videogame called “VIRTUAL VALERIE”. Dr. Leary proceeded to wax poetically and showed some game play. To my surprise (and I believe most of the audience), VIRTUAL VALERIE was an adult interactive erotic computer game. At the “No-Tell Motel” Valerie has virtual sex with the player. The goal is to help Valerie achieve orgasm. OMG!

That evening I hosted Tim and a select group (maybe 10) ILM employees to a dinner in the “Main House” at Skywalker Ranch. Back then, ILM was situated in a strip mall environment on the wrong side of the tracks of San Rafael CA. Skywalker Ranch on the other hand, is located up in the rolling hills of Nicasio CA, amidst the splendor of live oak trees and very high end architectural structures ( it is said that GWL has an edifice complex). In fact, several of the invited guests, some of ILM’s top talent, had never set foot on the Ranch. The dinner was highly anticipated, especially by two of the invitees, Steve “Spaz” Williams and Mark Dippe. Spaz and Mark were two very key artists on T2 ,one of the films that we were doing the effects for at the time and I wanted to show my gratitude for all their brilliant work. In addition, they were some pretty cool dudes and lets just say, a bit counterculture, if you know what I mean.

My assistant paved the way for the guests to be allowed past security at the Ranch… yes, they have their own police department as well.  Everyone gathered in the parlor of the Main House, a three story replica of a victorian mansion, supposedly built in the late 1800’s ( actually built in the 1980’s… again, another story/blog for yet another time). Drinks were served amidst the replicas of Indiana Jones ( his fedora and whip encased in a glass display) and StarWars ( Luke Skywalker’s Lightsaber also on display). The grand staircase was cordoned off to the “riffraff” ( us ).  We were only allowed access to the ground floor as GWL’s office was beyond the velvet ropes.

Dinner was catered, the conversation was interesting and as the night progressed, Dr. Tim weaved some incredible tales.  All of us were enraptured with the good doctor, well almost all of us. It seemed that Spaz and Dippe, with beer bottles in hand, had disappeared.  I thought they had gone outside for a cigar, as Spaz was wont to do.

The evening ended.  It was a glorious night and as I drove home to Sleepy Hollow ( yes, I lived in Ichabod Craneville), my then wife, Kate and I started to review the evening.  I thought Tim was brilliant.  Kate thought Leary had meandered a great deal and was unable to truly communicate.  I guess I was more counter culture than I had thought.

The next day I arrived at my office at the strip mall and I had several messages from R.Douglas Norby, LucasFilm’s CEO and my boss.  Doug and I rarely saw eye to eye.  He looked like Mr. Rogers but was a lot more conflict avoidant. He stood about 5′ 6″, wore cardigan sweaters and had no knowledge (IMHO) of how to run an entertainment company.  His last position was the CFO of Syntex, a pharmaceutical company best known for birth control. He was the poster child of green eye shade types (bean counters), yet he was GWL’s hand picked boy and he made sure that any and all information that was to go to, or come from George, was through him.

Doug read me the riot act.  He had gotten word from Jane Bay, GWL’s assistant, that George was really upset about Tim Leary being at the Ranch.  According to Norby, GWL thought that Tim was a drug dealer and a degenerate and how dare I invite someone to Skywalker Ranch without his approval.  I explained to Doug who Tim was and how artists at ILM thought it really cool that he could tell us, first hand, what it was like to hang with the likes of the Beatles. Leary was now 70 and had not done any psychedelics for years.  I did not however mention a word about VIRTUAL VALERIE.  Doug reprimanded me and told me that the rest of the lecture series was cancelled. I tried in vain to explain to Doug that we were a collective of artists and not chemists… he was having nothing of it.

The next day I get another call from Norby, only this time he really had his cardigan in a twist.  It seems that the Skywalker police had discovered two members of our dinner group, beers in hand, sitting on the couch in…. GWL’s private office.  They had set off the infrared alarm system whilst sipping some Rolling Rocks and discussing whether George really knew had to use the Editdroid editing system that was sitting opposite them in Lucas’ office. This time Norby didn’t want to hear any excuses.  It seems that GWL told Jane Bay who told Norby that he wanted these two guys fired.  The problem was…. the Skywalker police didn’t really know who the perpetrators were! When the “cops” barged into GWL’s office, they demanded to know who the two vagabonds were.  Spaz and Dippe told them they were Scott Ross and Ed Jones ( then ILM’s head of Post Production).  The officers replied that they knew Scott Ross… and neither of these guys were Scott Ross.  At which point Spaz points to Dippe ( who is half Asian) and says “He’s  Lincoln Hu “( a Technical Director at ILM).  I, of course knew that was Spaz and Dippe, but I was afraid to tell Norby as Lucas wanted the two “criminals” fired immediately.  Unfortunately, these two criminals were the brain trust behind James Cameron’s TERMINATOR 2, and if I fired them… well, I was positive that Cameron would put my gonads in a vice ( yet another post at another time) and that Columbia/TriStar would sue the crap out of us.

Now, Lincoln Hu was a technical director at ILM and was a computer scientist. He was not a digital artist, he had training in mathematics and technology. Lincoln was also a very nice fellow… well mannered, soft spoken, self effacing and Asian.  Mark Dippe was the fellow that was caught with Spaz in GWL’s office, and while he too was very nice… he was self confident, fun loving, brilliant, sarcastic, and very hip. He was Amerasian.

But Norby wanted the two perpitrators fired immediately.  I talked Norby down off the ledge and explained the repercussions of such public beheadings. Finally understanding the impossibility of allowing Lucas to get his wish, we negotiated a settlement.  George had agreed to allow the two most important digital artists at ILM to continue to work on T2 yet there were still to be punishments.  No raises for a year.  No working on any StarWars movies ever ( if they were ever to be produced again). And finally…. They were not allowed to ever visit Skywalker Ranch.  They were Banned From The Ranch!!!

The unfortunate part was that the wrong people were being banned… the SkyWalker Police still thought that the two baddies were Ed Jones and Lincoln Hu.

That had to  be cleaned up pronto.  I called Norby and explained that the Sky walker Po Po had ID’ d the wrong fellas.  Identities were corrected.  Lincoln Hu and Ed Jones records were expunged…. And Spaz and Dippe were brought to justice.

Lincoln  was ecstatic, well as ecstatic as an Asian software engineer could be!

A day later, Lincoln’s phone rang.  Now I assume that Lincoln’s phone rarely ever rung, but this time the caller was special, it was R. Douglas Norby, nerd CEO, on the other end. Lincoln at first didn’t believe it was Doug, I mean, Doug never really called anyone at ILM ( including me). But there it was… Norby’s secretary was asking Lincoln to hold on as Doug Norby was calling. Lincoln waited patiently. Finally after a few minutes, the  Mr. Rogers patois as thick as water, Doug said” I’d like to thank you Lincoln for  understanding the mix up.  I’m really sorry for what happened. Please understand that you are eligible for raises, if you deserve them… that you can continue to work on T2 and that you are most definitely not banned from the ranch”.  Lincoln thanked Doug and then Norby says” Oh, yes, by the way, thanks for the brownies and cookies that you sent to my office “.  Lincoln was puzzled at Doug’s last statement and thinks for a second, then said “ Doug, did you eat any of the brownies?”.  Doug answered, “why, no ?” Lincoln quickly interjects, “ Well don’t…. they weren’t sent by me…. And they might be, well, Alice B Toklas brownies!”  Doug replied “ Alice who?” After all, he was Mr. Rogers!

And that is the end of today’s tales from the scripts…. One final note however…a year or two later, several ILM’ers would leave the company to form their own VFX company. The name?  Banned From The Ranch.